Former Conservative MP Rory Stewart found being a politician âvery yuckyâ and felt like a fraud, he told an audience at Hay festival on Saturday.
Asked whether he would consider going back into politics, he said that he found being a politician âpersonally very, very unpleasantâ and âdidnât like itâ, adding: âI feel like a fraud all the time, in a whole series of ways.â
He said that maintaining the image of working in three places at once â his Penrith and the Border constituency, parliament and abroad as part of ministerial duties â as an MP was one such example.
He was expected to be in his constituency âfull-time, focusing on the things that really matterâ to constituents.
âIâm also a legislator in parliament, and everybodyâs expecting me to be 350 miles away from Cumbria in Westminster scrutinising legislation and voting on legislation.
âIâm also the minister for Africa, and everybodyâs expecting me to be in South Sudan worrying about the delivery of aid and how we deal with the civil war.â
Stewart, 51, who was minister for Africa for six months between June 2017 and January 2018, said that he could not âdo it allâ and be in three places at once.
Yet âon social media, Iâm pretending Iâm in all three at the same time. Iâm sending out tweets, âHere I am in South Sudan with a war lordâ, âHere I am in Cumbria with a farmerâ, âHere I am in Westminster scrutinising legislationâ, right? And at no time am I actually with my family or going to Pret or doing any of the things that I might want to do.â
He said that he also feels like a âtotal fraudâ dealing with the public, including at Saturdayâs festival.
âI hate this,â he said, because he thinks he is on a âtightropeâ all the time. âI can chit-chat, I can dance around, I can sell you ideas, I can maybe even make you vote for me, but Iâm aware that the situation is fundamentally unstable, that at some point, one, or 10, or 20 or a 100 of you are going to wake up and be like, âWho is this prick? Why am I listening to him? Heâs a fraud, heâs a hypocrite.ââ
Stewart also said that he had, for the first time in his life, âthought brieflyâ about suicide after telling a reporter that some areas of his constituency were âpretty primitive, people holding up their trousers with bits of twineâ.
Looking back, he felt he had a âvery excessive reactionâ because most of his constituents âdidnât really care and thought it was quite funnyâ.
