Covid, canal raids and May’s nostrils: six key takeaways from Boris Johnson’s memoir | Boris Johnson

Planning military incursions into the Netherlands, likening himself to ancient Greeks and comparing Keir Starmer to castrated bulls: the serialisation of Boris Johnson’s forthcoming memoir kicked off in characteristic fashion this weekend.

Excerpts from Unleashed, which will be released on 10 October, have been published in the Daily Mail on Friday and Saturday, and the Mail on Sunday is due to reveal more.

Here are six key takeaways:

1. His battle with Covid

After testing positive for coronavirus in the early days of the pandemic in 2020, it was “Athenian history” that came to the former prime minister’s mind.

“Pericles died of the plague,” Johnson recalls telling Michael Gove, referring to the plague of Athens in 430BC that killed up to one-third of the population. Upon hearing this, Johnson says his Cabinet Office minister’s “spectacles seemed to glitter at the thought, like the penguin in Wallace and Gromit”.

As the death toll across the UK neared 1,000, Johnson describes his declining health as he was “banjaxed” by the virus, which would eventually land him in intensive care at St Thomas’ hospital in April 2020. He reminisces about going from “bullish” and “rubicund” to having a face “the colour of mayonnaise” within days.

Even his dog, Dilyn, seemed to succumb to Covid, Johnson writes, while he recovered at Chequers, the 16th-century mansion in the Chiltern hills. “After a few hundred yards he would lie there all floppy, tongue lolling,” he says of his jack russell cross.

2. The Dutch canal raid

Johnson also remembers how, at the height of the pandemic in March 2021, he considered invading the Netherlands to seize vaccines.

He says he discussed taking the AstraZeneca vaccine, which was at the time the subject of a cross-Channel row over exports, with senior military officials. They plotted to “send one team on a commercial flight to Amsterdam, while another team would use the cover of darkness to cross the Channel in rigid inflatable boats and navigate up the canals,” he writes.

“I have to warn you, PM … that it will not be possible to do this undetected,” Johnson recalls being told by Lt Gen Doug Chalmers, the then deputy chief of the defence staff (military strategy and operational). “Well, PM,” Chalmers tells Johnson, “if we are detected we will have to explain why we are invading a longstanding Nato ally.”

Johnson writes: “I secretly agreed with what they all thought but did not want to say aloud: that the whole thing was nuts.”

3. Theresa May and Penny Mordaunt

Johnson speaks of his fond feelings for his predecessor, Theresa May, and looks back on his encounters with the former equalities minister Penny Mordaunt.

He describes how he would enjoy May’s “schoolmarmy self-righteousness” and how she would “roll her eyes” when he spoke. But it was her “long and pointy black” nostrils, says Johnson, that he fixated on most: “Like a Gerald Scarfe cartoon, and the way she would twist her nose, as if to show them off.”

As for Mordaunt, he draws parallels with her views on transgender rights, writing: “Was she still a Remainer, wrapped in Brexiteer clothes, or had she surgically altered her beliefs? Was she some kind of cross-dresser – and could she switch back? I started to worry.”

4. His Partygate regrets

In 2022, Johnson became the first prime minister to receive a criminal penalty while in office for a surprise get-together for Johnson’s birthday. Downing street previously admitted that staff “gathered briefly” in the cabinet room.

In his memoir, he denies eating cake at the “feeblest event in the history of human festivity”.

He writes: “I stood briefly at my place in the Cabinet Room, where I have meetings throughout the day, while the chancellor and assorted members of staff said happy birthday … I saw no cake. I ate no blooming cake.”

A later investigation into Partygate was led by the former senior civil servant Sue Gray. Johnson remarks on how she is now Keir Starmer’s chief of staff and at the time was his“number one political foe”. He states he still believes all the “events were in accordance with the rules”.

In a shortlist of his “catastrophic mistakes” in the handling of the political scandal, Johnson lists among them, regret over “a ridiculous and unfair witch-hunt led by a senior civil servant, Sue Gray” and not realising “my old amigo Dom Cummings [was] behind it all”.

Gray’s investigation found that neither Johnson nor Sunak were aware of the event in advance.

5. Never mind the bullock, here’s Keir Starmer

Johnson does not pull his punches when describing Keir Starmer, saying that his “irritable face” during a Commons debate was “like a bullock having a thermometer unexpectedly shoved in its rectum”.

The line refers to a debate in June 2020, when the two leaders clashed at prime minister’s questions over the delay to the full reopening of schools. Johnson says Starmer was unable to say schools were safe as it would “go against his masters in the teaching unions”.

“A great ox has stood on his tongue,” he told the speaker.

6. His plea to Prince Harry

Johnson describes how he tried to stop “Megxit” – Prince Harry’s departure from the UK when he stepped back from being a working royal and moved to California via Vancouver with his wife, Meghan.

He collared the prince for a “manly pep talk” during a UK-Africa investment summit in January 2020. The meeting lasted 20 minutes, but Johnson concedes it was futile, as Harry left for Canada the next day.

Johnson recalls: “There was a ridiculous business when they made me try to persuade Harry to stay. Kind of manly pep talk. Totally hopeless.”