“I get it, honey, but it’s your night to make dinner.” Source link Read more »
“Attention, passengers: there will be some moderate turbulence while we pass through the energy field pulsing up from the Democratic National Convention.” Source link Read more »
Ignore the teleprompter and reap the whirlwhind. Source link Read more »
“You know the rules—whoever hauls in the most cash gets to be the leader of the free world.” Source link Read more »
“You better open another bottle of wine—I’m about to start deducting household expenses.” Source link Read more »
“These ornaments have been in the family since the Great Target Clearance Sale of 2012.” Source link Read more »