“Quick! Somebody get Chuck Schumer to write a strongly worded letter!” Source link Read more »
“For too long, we’ve all suffered the bizarre and oppressive policies that I installed last week.” Source link Read more »
“I worry about my mom’s screen time, but it’s the only thing that seems to soothe her.” Source link Read more »
“You do realize that just because you stopped watching the news doesn’t mean it stopped happening.” Source link Read more »
“It’s not the pollen—it’s the political climate.” Source link Read more »
“I have nothing positive to cheers to, so I don’t think I should cheers at all.” Source link Read more »
“It’s not a popularity contest—that’s what the Oscars are for.” Source link Read more »
“Great Scott! The past is no longer distinguishable from the future.” Source link Read more »
“It was at this point, gentlemen, that the President decided it was his plan all along to reverse course.” Source link Read more »