“Super Bowl? This is just my regular comfort food these days.” Source link Read more »
“Follow that car! Unless it goes into the congestion-pricing zone!” Source link Read more »
“Come to think of it, I’d love to contribute to the coronation fund.” Source link Read more »
“I get it, honey, but it’s your night to make dinner.” Source link Read more »
“I have terrible news: the world is about to collapse and Instagram is no longer square.” Source link Read more »
“It says it’s nineteen degrees out, but the general lack of empathy in our current political climate is making it feel colder.” Source link Read more »
“Act now—the first fifty callers receive a Presidential pardon.” Source link Read more »
“Fine, you travelled for pleasure. I’m asking why you’re coming back.” Source link Read more »