“Objection, Your Honor! The witness is using a Trump Bible!” Source link Read more »
“I didn’t expect today to be Taylor Swift word cloudy.” Source link Read more »
“We’re not giving him a free pass to do whatever he wants—we’re buying him time so he can get elected and then do whatever he wants.” Source link Read more »
“The time machine is a success, but unfortunately it can only go back four years to the last election.” Source link Read more »
“Son, we won’t see this many eclipse glasses returned to Amazon for another twenty years.” Source link Read more »
“Don’t stare directly into it, but, right behind me, is that . . . ?” Source link Read more »
“Someday you could be President, if you work hard and raise obscene amounts of money.” Source link Read more »
“In light of national and world events, we’ve repealed our no-crying-at-your-desk policy.” Source link Read more »