“For too long, we’ve all suffered the bizarre and oppressive policies that I installed last week.” Source link Read more »
“You do realize that just because you stopped watching the news doesn’t mean it stopped happening.” Source link Read more »
“I’ve decided to focus less on cardio and more on strength to get out of bed in the morning.” Source link Read more »
“I’m sorry, we did everything we could before Elon cut our funding.” Source link Read more »
“We’ve replaced all our screens at home with relentless immersion in the here and now.” Source link Read more »
“Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?” Source link Read more »
“I get it, honey, but it’s your night to make dinner.” Source link Read more »