“Hold on. I’m searching through all the junk mail Biden sends me to see if he’s forgiven my loans.” Source link Read more »
“You better open another bottle of wine—I’m about to start deducting household expenses.” Source link Read more »
“You wished for mattresses to be on sale again, didn’t you?” Source link Read more »
“They’re on top of my head again, aren’t they?” Source link Read more »
“Honest! It’s not a time machine so I can find out if you meant it when you said you didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day.” Source link Read more »