“At this time, we’d like to invite our passengers needing extra assistance in their political careers to board.” Source link Read more »
“This’ll never work—you’re the drink of the summer and I’m an autumnal classic.” Source link Read more »
“Oh, no, I don’t eat s’mores—I just correct people when they’re making them wrong.” Source link Read more »
“I’m so tired, I’ll be asleep the minute my head hits the pillow, then awake again every hour filled with existential dread.” Source link Read more »
“I think she wants you to reapply sunscreen.” Source link Read more »
Ignore the teleprompter and reap the whirlwhind. Source link Read more »
For those less well-versed than me in the world of high 1980s Hollywood and its various satellites â or do I mean parasites? â it may be useful if I begin this... Read more »
“For Father’s Day, Daddy would like you to make that lasagna you cooked for us on Mother’s Day.” Source link Read more »
“Bear mace, check. Breaking-news mace, check.” Source link Read more »