“It’s not a popularity contest—that’s what the Oscars are for.” Source link Read more »
“Today, the Supreme Court is expected to rule in the case of People v. Guy Who Will Ignore the Ruling.” Source link Read more »
“Wow—I’d just assumed your profile picture was A.I.-generated.” Source link Read more »
“Oh, and try to have everyone fill out one of these.” Source link Read more »
“Wait, are we bidding? You can’t bid on something I already bought.” Source link Read more »
“Act now—the first fifty callers receive a Presidential pardon.” Source link Read more »