“I used to get excited about the Great Pumpkin, too, until I got sucked into his pumpkin cult.” Source link Read more »
“Brace yourselves, fools, for twenty minutes of pure, horrifying, uncomfortable sitting.” Source link Read more »
“It’s the red phone. It only rings if there’s been an international baseball emergency.” Source link Read more »
“Heads global conflict, tails climate disaster—best three out of five wins.” Source link Read more »
“Welcome back to ‘Is It a Destruction of Democracy or Is It Cake?’ ” Source link Read more »
“Keep your eye on the ball. Then catch it. Then obsessively develop your skills to land a baseball scholarship, get recruited to a major-league team, and finally make me happy.” Source link Read more »