“Brace yourselves, fools, for twenty minutes of pure, horrifying, uncomfortable sitting.” Source link Read more »
“It’s the red phone. It only rings if there’s been an international baseball emergency.” Source link Read more »
“Heads global conflict, tails climate disaster—best three out of five wins.” Source link Read more »
“Welcome back to ‘Is It a Destruction of Democracy or Is It Cake?’ ” Source link Read more »
“Keep your eye on the ball. Then catch it. Then obsessively develop your skills to land a baseball scholarship, get recruited to a major-league team, and finally make me happy.” Source link Read more »
“Remember, before devices, when we used to sit and be forced to watch political ads on television together?” Source link Read more »
“Attention, passengers: there will be some moderate turbulence while we pass through the energy field pulsing up from the Democratic National Convention.” Source link Read more »
“Team Trump is up by thirty-one in felonies, but it’s still anyone’s game.” Source link Read more »